•It’s when you’re breaking down with your insides coming out; that’s when you find out what your heart’s made of.•
It’s there you find out your absolute need for something much greater than yourself.
There has been seemingly no progress, nothing is going on here. Or at least that’s what it feels like in my spiritual life. I was wondering what was wrong and if it was my fault. I felt guilty, like I was just a bad Christian. Until I started going to a bible study that touched on God’s timing, which blew me out of the water.
John Darby states that, “it is God’s way to set people aside after their first start, that self-confidence may die down.” In no way will we ever even begin to touch the surface of God’s ways, but hearing this was one of the biggest reliefs. John Darby expounds on this by saying, “We must get to know ourselves and that we have no strength. Thus we must learn, and then leaning on the Lord we can with more maturity, and more experientially, deal with souls.”
After growing in spiritual leaps and bounds last year at my first year of biblical education at Ecola Bible School, this year seemed so stagnant. I can’t sit here stagnant, I’m at bible school! It is not by a fault of my own, but God’s divine sovereignty that has brought me to this point of growing deeper in Him and really taking root. It just manifests itself in a different form than the growth we are used to seeing in our spiritual lives.
Darby also adds that in our walks, “there are also idle days, days apparently useless, when even prayer and holy service seem a burden. Are we, in any sense, renewed in these days? Yes, for any experience which makes us more aware of our need for God must contribute to spiritual progress, unless we deny the Lord who brought us.”
Take what is left of me, make it a melody.
*quotes taken from The Green Letters: Principles of Spiritual Growth by Miles J. Stanford